


Reaching For Something That Isn't There

by Blanc_et_Noir



Series: Dream SMP BS [8]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Achilles! Technoblade, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Betrayal, Character Death, Character Study, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Icarus! Dream, Imprisonment, Inspired by The Fall of Icarus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Loneliness, Mentioned Philza, Mentioned Wilbur, Pain, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Suicidal Thoughts, Technoblade Centric, Theseus! Tommy, Tommy centric, Violence, dream centric, righteous anger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blanc_et_Noir/pseuds/Blanc_et_Noir
Summary: History is forever doomed to repeat itself.People ask what Theseus gained by playing the hero, what Icarus saw in the sun, what Achilles truly wanted. They ask these questions and still don't see an answer.Why was the sun so charming enough for young Icarus to forget his father's words? Why was Theseus so confident enough that he would be welcomed home for his achievement? Why was Achilles considered a bad example?Three tales all ending with caution and fear. Three tales to remind everyone of their humanity. Three tales to ensure no one would do the same.And what did they do?History is forever doomed to repeat itself.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Dream SMP BS [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974895
Comments: 7
Kudos: 101





	1. What did you gain, Theseus?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is never kind to heroes.
> 
> Why should it change now?

Tommy only wanted L'manberg back. He only ever wanted a nation where he wasn't repressed for the things he liked doing. A place where he can have fun with his best friend while they listen to his discs. A nation away from Dream. A nation full of fun, laughter and smiles. He only wanted that one simple thing. 

Was it too much to ask?

If you were to ask people what started it, everyone would have different answers. Some would say Tommy's ego caused his downfall, even daring to challenge Dream who was powerful. Some would say it was Dream's cruelty that pushed these people to create a new nation. Very few would say it was just a childish dream, a wish for happiness and joy. 

Tommy was one of those few. 

As he stared at the destroyed landscape of the nation he built with his blood, sweat and tears. Stared at the faces that were supposed to be laughing wrecked with soot and fear. Stared at everything that went wrong. He could feel the pain, the sorrow bubble at the surface. He gritted his teeth and swallowed. 

He wasn't going to cry. Not now. 

He turned back to the person he called a brother. Everyone was screaming something- their disbelief, their sorrow, their anger. He didn't hear anything, a faint buzzing static in his ear being louder than anything. He stared at the emotionless pig mask that rested on Technoblade's face. He already lost one brother to insanity, what now?

"You want to be a hero, Tommy?" 

The question so painstakingly directed at him, he snapped to attention. His wide blue eyes staring at nothing and everything at the same time. He could barely make out the outline of soulsand standing in a formation. He could barely make out Tubbo speaking at his side. Everything and nothing was happening. 

A scream ripped through his throat, an impulsive response to Technoblade. 

"I only ever wanted L'manberg!"

"You've staged a hostile government takeover. You've killed the leader and replaced him with Tubbo!"

Tubbo, right. His best friend. The person he had strung along to his machinations. His best friend. The one person who had stood by his side all this time. The one and only person he trusted. He clenched his fist to his side, moving despite his body screaming not to. Moving to stand in front of his best friend. 

"You've replaced a tyrant with another! There is no difference! At least Schlatt was a democratically elected leader."

Tommy hated it. He hated how somehow Technoblade was right. He hated how everything was going against him. How everyone was against him. A flicker of green caught his eyes and he narrowed them at the cloaked man who stood stop a building. Watching, waiting. He ha5ed that bastard. 

"The thing about the world, Tommy." 

He was speaking again. Why was he speaking again? Why can't he just leave it all alone? Why can't he have peace? Why must everything go against him at every turn? He just wanted L'manberg!

"The world isn't kind to heroes, Tommy. Let me tell you a story,"

By this time, Tommy had blacked Technoblade out of his sight, his senses. Instead, he turned and his vision tunneled. There he stood. So high and mighty. There he stood like the real monster he was. There the bastard stood like he owned the world. He stood like some kind of god. Tommy's hand shook in anger. He didn't know who he was angry at. At Technoblade, who was still speaking. At Dream, who merely stood there. At Wilbur, for ruining everything. 

"You want to be a hero, Tommy?!"

Or maybe he's mad at himself. He's mad that he couldn't even save this one thing. That he couldn't even accomplish this one thing. This small, hopeful thing. Maybe he was mad that he had it in his hands but watched it crumble to ash just as quickly. Maybe he wanted justice. Maybe he wanted to kill Dream for it. Maybe he wanted to kill Technoblade for it. 

"Then die like one!" 

The explosions shoved him out of his own reverie. Bringing him back to reality. The reality of L'manberg getting even more destroyed. The reality that he once again had it in his grasp before watching it slip through. He screamed his voice raw, running into battle. 

The world was never fair to him. 

* * *

For once, he was finally at peace. L'manberg looked beautiful. He was with his best friend. They were still at odds with Dream but what was life without a bit of fun? He didn't want to see Wilbur- or Ghostbur, whatever- not did he want to see Phil. He busied himself with small things. 

Then, Dream introduced someone new. Tommy's eyes brightened in what felt like years and he latched onto the new guy. He latched onto him and finally found something to do. He finally found a chaos buddy. What with Tubbo busying himself with the rebuilding of L'manberg, Tommy could finally find an outlet for his chaos. For his need to destroy. To fight. 

He was itching for it to the point he should've seen it coming. 

They had only planned to loot George's new house. It wasn't like there was anything valuable in it. They grabbed whatever looked nice and bailed. Then, Tommy stopped. Ranboo was confused at first before he noticed the glint in his eyes. Finally, he can get back at Dream. Indirectly, sure, but satisfying nonetheless. He pulled out a flint and steel and lit it all up. Finally, something burned that wasn't L'manberg. 

He was satisfied until he saw the walls. 

They weren't kind nor were they warm. They weren't the same walls that once surrounded the beautiful place. They weren't the same walls that once protected them from a tyrant. They weren't the same walls that were built with his determination and spite.

They were walls built to keep them in.

Everything was happening too fast. Tubbo and Dream having a meeting. Dream wanting his discs again. Dream screaming at them. Tommy didn't know what to do. He only knew one thing. He only knew how to destroy, to fight back. When he turned to Tubbo, his best friend, he only saw coldness. He saw someone who wanted peace. Someone who wanted everything to stop.

"I care about your discs more than you do, Tommy."

Tommy didn't know why he cared anymore. He didn't know why he still continued to care. He wanted to scream and shout. To ask the world why everything was so unfair. He wanted to cry and sob. To finally let everything out. He wanted out. 

"Don't you dare threaten me."

The next thing Tommy knew, he was alone. He was on a deserted island all alone. Ghostbur couldn't amount to anything, not even resembling his previous brother. Tommy was alone. After all he's done. After all the blood he had shed for L'manberg. After all those times he's fought for his land. After everything he's done.

They exiled him. 

A faint buzzing in his ears came back. The very same one that covered his sense when Technoblade was speaking. The very same buzz that reminded him of one thing. How cruel the world was. To him, to everything. It reminded him that all he's ever done was lose and keep losing. Losing his country, losing his home, losing his friends. He lost his two brothers and his best friend. He lost everything. 

"Put the armor in the pit, Tommy."

He didn't know why he still fought. He was going to lose anyway. There was no use to continuing this charade. He had lost. He was nothing but a mere memory. He was alone. No one stood at his side anymore. He was an exile. The only person ever visiting him being Dream, the very same man he loathed with all his body and soul. The very same man who started all this. Still. He had lost. 

Why was he still fighting at this point? 

What was left for him to fight for? Freedom? His friends? His discs? What was left for him to care about? His life? His emotions? His stability? 

He had nothing and Dream was always there to remind him of that fact. 

He wanted to see his friends. To see the people he cared about. He still fought. He wanted to fight because that's all he's ever known to do. He didn't want to give up. He didn't want to back down. He wasn't weak. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't scared. But when he was faced with the Nether Portal, an enthralling call that he can't answer, he felt everything around him shatter.

The world was never kind to him. 

He couldn't feel anything. His hands were numb as he gripped the edge of the bridge. His legs were numb as they dangled off the edge. His eyes burned as he stared down at the hot expanse below. He felt nothing in his chest, he felt nothing in his throat. He felt free for the first time in months. He felt like he didn't have to fight for this one. That his choice was finally something for peace. 

"It's not your time to die yet, Tommy."

It never was. He was always close. So close to the edge. At the very brink of falling but he can't. He was always one cut away from falling dead. He was always one wound away from bleeding out. He was always one enemy away from giving up. What made this different? Nothing. He would always stay in the line between life and death. He would always walk alone in the between. Where he belonged.

He wasn't surprised when no one came. 

He had hopes but he crushed them beforehand. He gave the invites to Ghostbur knowing the specter would forget. He acted like he trusted Dream's words when he tried to excuse their absence. That's it. It was all an act. What more can he do? He has nothing. He has no one. He was alone, he was exiled and he was as good as dead. It was a better option to what Dream would have wanted him to become. It was a better option than to turn tail and run. It was a better option than to just sit and wait. 

The world was never ever kind to him. 

As he sat in the rain, holding a trident, wishing to just fall. As he sat alone, staring at the dark and empty sky. Not even the skies would give him a chance of company. Not even the stars would blink and shine his way. Not even the moon would show its face. He was completely and utterly alone. The buzzing in his ear came back. It reminded him of something. 

The world was never kind to heroes.

What made him a hero? Who made him a hero? Was it because Dream was cruel that he was a hero? Was it because he fought for freedom that made him a hero? Was it because he wanted a place to have fun that made him a hero? What was there that Tommy fought for and reached out to, only to find himself with nothing? 

What was he trying to gain, again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world never deserved heroes. The heroes deserved the world. Yet, everything was against them. No surprise if they step back and watch the world burn. 
> 
> :)


	2. Icarus, why did you reach for the sun?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride and recklessness caused a fall of a bright and hopeful young man.
> 
> It will cause the fall for another.

Dream always had many wants and many needs. He wanted peace, then he wanted white flags, then he wanted war and bloodshed. He wanted and wanted and wanted. He had asked and asked to the point he wanted everything. He had asked and continued to ask until it turned to demanding. He had demanded and demanded until it turned to taking. When he took, he kept them forever. It had become routine at this point. It had been ingrained into his mind. He will always take and take and take and never give. 

_"Just tell me you love me, George!"_

He would ask for affection but never give the same amount, only whispering sweet nothings and empty responses. He would ask for company and contact but when it mattered most he disappeared. He would demand for peace until he himself had broken it. He would demand for justice and items when he won't even give anything in return. He would take lives but turn away when asked to kill someone. He would take people's trust and dreams then crush it in his hands. He would take everything. 

_"I want white flags- white flags, outside your base, at dawn or you are dead!"_

Dream never did anything without due cause. He would always ask and demand and take with reason. They were very justified reasons. He would ask for love and company because he was alone, even if he couldn't return the same sentiments because he was busy. He would demand for peace and justice because it was what kept his lands safe, even if he was the root cause for the wars. He would take lives and dreams so he could protect them and shield them from the harsh reality, even if he was endangering their lives. 

_"I'll have to step in, Tommy."_

He never meant harm. He was never in the wrong. His actions may have consequences but he had calculated for them beforehand. He had ensured that his actions garnered the consequences he needed. He had ensured his actions are what brought back peace and tranquility. He had ensured that everything was in order and not in chaos. Even if it meant causing chaos, the end always justified the means. Now, as he stood before his friends and his enemies, he had only one thing to ask. 

**_Who were they to question him?_**

He gritted his teeth, glaring at the very people he had promised a land. The very same people who used his kindness to their advantage. The very same people who saw all the good he had done and turned their backs on him. The very same people he had cared for and kept safe had misunderstood his intentions and deemed him the devil. That was all he was to these people, the villain. 

From that moment on, he stopped caring. Fine, if they wanted a villain- he'll give him one. He kept Tommy alone, he sabotaged the teen's party, he made him feel unloved. That's fine, he's the villain right? He won't ever be redeemed. He was always wrong. He was always going to fall. If so, he'd do it while reaching for something greater. 

When Tommy left, Dream didn't panic. He merely looked at the blown up remains of LogSted and turned around. He turned away. That's just another step to his plan. If he wants peace and tranquility, he will get it. Even if it means starting a war. Even if it means causing conflict. Whatever he wants, he will take. He closed his eyes behind the mask and listened to the waves. There's nothing anyone can do to stop him. He already has his pawns in place. Everything was going according to planned.

When Technoblade was set for execution, Dream smiled. That was good. That was perfect. Another pawn to add to his repertoire. The most powerful pawn, actually. He chuckled darkly as he watched the anvil fall and Technoblade survive. Everything was perfect. All his actions led to the right consequences. Everything was going just as he had planned. He was getting that favor. He was getting that favor and holding it against Technoblade. He had the most powerful man on his side. That was good. 

He turned away and the days passed in a flash. He kept up the pretense he was looking for Tommy. That he was suffering from a failed plot but in reality, nothing he does ever fails. This was going according to planned. Even if he saw the oldest and dearest thing to his heart get blown up. Even if he saw the very thing that held him and his friends together crumble to pieces. The end always justified the means. The end always justified the means. The end always justified the means. 

**_So, why is it that he got this end?_ **

He was so close. He had Technoblade and Phil firmly on his side. Ranboo was in shambles as he tried to pick up whatever pieces he had left. Tommy and Tubbo were on their last life and risking it all. Quackity was getting too rash and reckless. George and Sapnap refused to help L'manberg. Any and everyone else was useless and pathetic against him. He had everyone right where he wanted. 

_So, why is it that he's surrounded by their sneering faces?_

_Why is it that his powerhouse of a pawn is pointing an axe to his throat?_

_Why is it that everything is being upturned and ruined?_

_Why was he the weak one now?_

"Put him in the prison."

**Impossible**.

The prison was for when Dream could finally lock every single person in the server into. The prison was built as an emergency plan if everything went wrong. If perhaps, the ends weren't exactly as he had planned. If perhaps he had been wrong in his assessment (he was never wrong). The prison was his safety net to ensure complete and utter control over the server. 

**_Why was it being used against him?_ **

Contrary to popular belief, he didn't scream or shout or struggle. He merely walked, his head faced down as he clenched his hands at his sides. His entire mind was reeling back. ~~Was he wrong? Where did he go wrong?~~ He swore that Technoblade was on his side. _That they agreed on mutual terms._ He swore that everyone was helpless against his plot. He swore that no one would dare stand up to him like this. 

But when he looked up into the disappointed eyes of Sapnap and George. He snapped.

**"I DID THIS FOR ALL OF YOU!"**

He lashed out, screaming. He didn't pull out his axe. He didn't need it. No, he wanted to prove a point. He wanted everyone to see that he only wanted what was best on this server. He only wanted people to realize that he was right all along. He wanted them to see that starting a nation without him would only end in chaos and bloodshed. He was right! He was never wrong! The end always- _**ALWAYS**_ justified the means. 

**"I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING FOR YOU."**

His mind was reeling back. The anger, the sadness, the mania. It was all bundled together in a tight knot in his mind. He pushed past George and Sapnap. He shoved Quackity to the ground. He growled at Technoblade and stepped past him. He stood before all of them as he ripped off his mask. He glares hatefully at every single one of them. 

**"YOU ALL ASKED FOR A VILLAIN! I GAVE THAT TO YOU!!"**

His eyes twitched as he looked every single one of them in the eye. These were the very same people who blew everything out of proportion. He was only doing what was right. He wanted peace. He wanted tranquility. He only said what needed to be said to convince everyone. He only did the things that needed to be done to bring it all to a close. This wasn't what he had planned. This wasn't what he had calculated. He had sacrificed so much. He had flown to the skies and for what? 

~~He forgot Icarus' wings burned.~~

~~He forgot Icarus had fallen.~~

~~He forgot that he was Icarus.~~

He breathed deeply, letting out an animalistic growl. 

**_He forgot nothing._ **

**"I took the role of villain to spare you the burden."**

He didn't know what the fuck he was saying. He was just spouting bullshit. His mind was rushing to find a way to escape. This was an entire group of people going against him. This was his pawns going against him. Pawns he had crafted and built to be exactly how he wanted them to be. How dare they use that against him. His hand twitched as he snarled at them. 

**"I was the Icarus that flew too close to the sun."**

He grabbed his axe. He could see everyone tense and he barked out a laugh. He truly cemented his position as dangerous in their minds. Good. He was feared. He was hated. He was powerful. He stepped back, sweeping his hands to the side as he tilted his head. ~~He had resigned himself to his fate.~~

He just hated it when people controlled him. 

**"If I fall… I fall on MY terms."**

He didn't see the looks in their faces as he brought the axe up to his own neck. He must've looked insane, a fallen leader grasping at the straws of sanity. A controlling madman who lost all control. ~~Such idiots.~~

He grinned and threw a pearl far away while slitting his throat. He could hear their screams as he disappeared. He coughed, bringing a hand up to the shallow cut he had made. He let the bloodied blade of his axe fall to the ground. He was finally out. Of course he was. They didn't know, they didn't realize he still had control over them. He started to run, laughing as the wind pushed through his hair. He was going to win. He always did. It was a cemented fact. 

He stopped and breathed out, drinking a potion. He looked down at the Ender Eyes in his hand and he chuckled darkly. 

**_"I'm going to win."_ **

He was going to disappear. He was going to enact the last dredges of his plan. Who cares if something goes bumpy along the way. If he gets the end he wanted. If he gets what he wants, he will do everything in his power. He cackled as the Eye floated into the air before dropping in a certain direction. He followed the direction. 

_He forgot that Icarus didn't choose to fall._

_Icarus fell because of pride._

_Icarus fell because of recklessness._

_**Dream was acting mighty prideful and reckless.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pride and recklessness can get you far. It can cause you to forget where you are. Falling from grace was such a cautionary tale. 
> 
> Someone didn't take the hint. Icarus didn't fall because he wanted to. A madman won't ever see himself fall. 
> 
> Being calculated to being on the verge of insanity, there's a fine line between the two. 
> 
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> Booyah, I had thoughts... More than just one. 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are very appreciated!! Want to see what y'all think of this owo
> 
> My Social Media if you wanna talk or make fanart!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
> 
> Twitter: @Angsty01  
> Insta: @angsty01  
> Tumblr: @angsty01


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